Sometimes the bad is so close to you, you never see it. It hides its darkness and you never see the evil until it jumps out and scares the hell out of everyone around it.
There might have been something bad that we never knew of, so close to us, that we were blindsided. Was it always here, growing beside us, and we never saw it? Is that possible? Something so ugly and evil was hiding so close in someone we loved, how could we never have seen it?
And I still don't believe it. Not yet, not now.
I think writers are investigators. We look beyond face value because we know this is how stories are woven. Nothing is ever how it seems and there are many stories within a story. Sitcoms are routinely written with three story lines. The major line we're concentrating on, then a secondary line that we can see if we look, and the third which is almost a start of another story. Yes, three stories in every sitcom. It's how the great ones are created.
Now the bad has shown up and I'm in a state of disbelief, shock, and a sorrow so deep I can't stop praying it isn't true. That there is more to this story that someone, hopefully the investigators, who should know better than to take something at face value, will discover and send this bad from our lives. I keep repeating, "I don't believe it." and "It can't be true." I feel something is missing from this story that we don't know about and they're not asking the right questions.
It's hard to concentrate. Some things consume your thoughts. I wish the weather was warmer and I could take the dogs for a walk to clear my head. I have small dogs, they freeze quicker than big dogs (because they're closer to the ground?) and they don't like walking in sub-zero weather.Say a prayer this bad will go away, that its all a terrible mistake and we'll wake up and the nightmare will just go away.
