Dark Days & Writing Ambition

Writing comes easy when life is easy. When depression darkens the days, writing is hard.
I was just over at Hugh Howey's blog and was inspired. Sometimes things can dim our light, get in the way of muse and lead us into that grey area of life where we don't really want to do anything.
Hopeless
Useless
Saddened by things beyond our control

Dreams come and go but it's the holding onto them that's a challenge.
I write because I love it. If it sells, fine. If not, I'll still write because of all the stories yet to tell.

There have been challenges here in AimlessLand. I've had worse, but that doesn't diminish what's here now. With a few autoimmune issues, depression is something I'm used to dealing with. When I was a kid I called them "the sad times" and just thought that the sad times are here so I'll just wait until it passes. Pretty insightful for a kid, right? I think this was happening throughout my life as I remember dealing with this when I was about 6 years old or so.

I think one of the depression busting techniques that works best is art and music. Making it, not watching/listening. Pick up some paint and a canvas and just start making a mess. Grab a guitar, bang on the keyboard.

Number two depression buster? A goal with a plan. This is what I want, this is what I have to do.

I recently found a new goal and it scares the sh*t out of me. I want to give up, retreat back and hide. It's a real give it all up and go type of goal. And I'm going to do it anyway. I once read that courage is just fear holding out for one more minute. I go for it minute by minute. Long term its a crazy idea. A minute passes so quickly, it's doable.

Stay tuned for the scary reality....
And if you're in the frigid north east, (temps today -7) here's a book to keep you warm.

Self Inflicted Deadlines

I've been a slacker.

As I wrote those words I realized I've felt them before....UGH! Too many times.

For a long time I had that early morning writing time carved out where I wrote for about an hour before work. Now, looking back, I don't know why I stopped.

So last night I mentioned my latest WIP to my husband. It's finished and in rewrites. I said I should just take a weekend and lock myself in my office and just get it done. He laughed and nodded. The kind of nod that said, "Yeah, of course, we all know that."

My office has no television. It's a good place to zone out and write. If I go in there. Since I have a lap top I can write in the family room...you know... in front of the TV, (said no great writer ever.) I don't actually watch TV, I just like the background noise. Oh, and the news. I'm kind of a news junkie.

I was over at Konrath's blog and read about doing pre-sales on a book you're about the launch. Or as I call it; Panic Your Life! I'm not sure I could take the pressure of that. What if life got in the way? What if a family member needed me for something? What if the dog needed me to take her for a walk? What if I just panic and can't write?

I think work takes up a lot of my brain time. When I get home I don't want to think, I want to veg and let my head clear. I know that's only a Monday to Friday excuse so I have nothing for the weekends.

I think its time to start locking myself in my office on weekends and only come out for tea and food. (And laundry...)

How's your writing time going?

Challenging Youself

One of the writers I most admire is Zoe Winters. She regularly posts her word count and how far she's gotten in her lastest WIP.  I need to do this. Not post it per say, but challenge myself to get X amount of pages done each day. In Stephen King's book, On Writing he says he completes at least 10 pages a day. Now I question if he perfects those 10 pages with edits or does he just blow them out to come back and edit later? Probably a little of both since we know writing isn't an exact science. I usually plow through to the end but sometimes I back track.
So what word count to set?
I work full time, volunteer and just started piano lessons. :) So with all that on my plate, what would be a viable word count? Should it be set for each day? Week? Or should it be a time goal? X amount of hours each day or week?
Sometimes 10 pages fly by, other times 5 pages are absolutely painful and time is a factor when you work 8 hours a day.
Do you set word/page goals? Are they daily or weekly?

How do you get it done? 

Wild Rose Press and finding my groove

Sometimes in this writer's life there comes a certain kind of depression. I recognise it, know it will pass and just enjoy it while it's here. It gives me time to contemplate things I otherwise would be too busy to think about. This time it brought the urge to give up. Thoughts like; Why am I trying so hard? It's never going to happen! I should just give up. Stop the polishing and the rewrites and just forget this idea of getting published.
Whew! I've even stopped visiting my fav agent blogs (a morning ritual). I don't post as much and although I read all my other fav writer's blogs I'm not posting comments there either. I feel like I should crawl into my shell and just let it all pass me by.
:(
Then I got the email newsletter from Wild Rose Press and saw a contest. They are starting a new line and looking for writers to write a story that has "a blue diamond" it in.
Slowly the wheels in my head started squeaking. Turning slowly around the word "blue diamond". So many possibilities leaked through my brain. A person? place? actual diamond? The Blue Diamond could be anything.
And best of all this contest has a deadline.
I love deadlines. They push me, block out all other interuptions and make me move.
So I've been moving, writing once again and it feels good. Then today I realized the depression had lifted. Thoughts cleared and the buzzing in my brain turned into action.
I think sometimes the cure for this writer's depression is a goal. When we have no goals we flounder, wander and sink deeper into the numbness of our own brains.
I have a goal now and hit just hit 30 pages.
Ahhhh....life is good once again.
What do you do when you want to give up? Where is your magic cure for inertia?

Painting & Used Books

When painting a straight line you don't look at your brush. You look at where you want the line to end. Then your hand (and the tip of the brush) will go there. Easy. One straight line.

While painting last night I forgot this little rule. Then it came back. Oh yeah, eyes on the goal, not the process.

That made me think about other goals.

In five days I'm unemployed and I face this mixed emotions.

-More time to write!

-Scary money issues...

-Time to paint!

-More scary money issues (I have no idea how unemployment works.)

-I have control of my life!

- um...or do I?

So my daughter and I were talking about working, high unemployment and the slumping economy. And she suggested combining our love of books with work by opening a used book store.

Questions: Would you/do you go to a used book store? Are there any in your area? Have you ever visited a used book store?

I found this one on the net. It looks like fun.