My dog orders me to do the dishes!

Meet Princess Lokota, affectionately known as Lokie. Every night she expects the dishes to be put in the dishwasher directly after dinner so she can get her licks in. Please know this 13 year old shelti is well fed. She eats Breakfast promptly at 6:30 a.m. and there better be a half can of greenbeans mixed in or she'll follow you around poking you with her paw.

"Hey! Where's my veggies?"

No shower, no coffee until the meal is served. When I arrive home at 5 p.m. she expects half a cup of dry food with a tablespoon of low fat yogurt within fifteen minutes of coming through the door. She stands by her dog dish and yaps until this is delivered. Afterwards the family is allowed to eat but immediately after the dishwasher must be loaded so she can inspect the dinner plates. Well, tonight I was tired, in pain (still recovering from rotator cuff surgery) and sacked on the couch to tackle the dishes AFTER Survivor China. I'm the boss here, right? If I want to let the dishes wait-- I'm allowed, right? My dishes, my house...

Eh.

Sorry, Lokie yaps, thats not on the schedule. She's standing here poking and yapping. She pretends she has forgotten what "Go lay down!" means. I think she feigns deafness as the whim takes her but hears very well the whispered word-cookie.

"GO LAY DOWN!"

"Yap! Yap! Yap!" and a poke.

I've lived and learned a half century. I'm an adult, I've raised two children, held numerous jobs and managed many people. I have a black belt in Karate for crying out loud!

But here I sit at the mercy of a dog that barely comes to my knees. My whole existence measured by whether or not I forgot to buy the dog's yogurt.

When I was a kid and wondered what I would be when I grew up-- I don't remember dog-slave being on the list.

Tomorrow night they predict thunder storms.....I'll be here, pinned to the couch by a dog poking, shaking and whining ....its the only time I'm allowed to skip the dishes...

AGENTS: Gatekeepers to the Publishing World

This weekend I had the great pleasure to meet Jessica Faust of Bookends at the New Jersey RWA conference. What impressed me most was her professionalism and honesty. Jessica gave a talk on Perfecting Your Pitch. Unfortunately, I wasn’t ready to pitch my book. I had originally set the NJRWA conference as my goal for having the book completed, but was sidelined with an auto accident that resulted in rotator cuff surgery. This slowed down my work and although it’s complete in my head….its not down on paper yet. Either way, I still had to hear what Jessica had to say so I stumbled in and sat in the back taking notes.
Jessica took pitches from the audience. I was amazed how quickly she could take a rambling, run-on pitch and turn it into one or two sentences that cut right to the conflict. How I wished I brought my pitch with me!
She also gave great tips on how to talk to an agent. Reminding us that they’re human (we tend to believe agents are super-humans with great powers of deciphering the publishing biz), have piles of queries on their desk and are working hard every day to find that next great literary work of art. It’s a tough struggle on both sides.
After the session I nervously made my way to the front of the room to say hello. I had to get on line. Other anxious writers were waiting with pitch in hand to get her advice which she graciously gave to each and every one. (Oh! How I wish I had brought my pitch!) When it was finally my turn we chatted about blogging and when I found my self repeating things (a nervous habit of mine) I made a hasty exit.
Thank you, Jessica, for a great session. I’ll have my pitch ready next time and now it will be even better.

DAY ONE- NJ RWA CONFERENCE

It’s my first writer’s conference and I’m so excited!
We start off with the Newbie’s meeting. A brief conference how-to. A lovely woman named Jessica Flasher stumbles into the room as if she’s in the wrong place and begins to tell us how to work a conference. Then she tells us how to stalk agents by shoving manuscripts under bathroom doors, dumping them on the breakfast plate and shoving them under the agent/editor’s nose at every opportunity. (All big no-no’s)
Then her alternate personality, Christine Bush, gave a great presentation on how to have a successful conference. Thank you Christine!
After that it was off to my first seminar (they had lots of good ones and it was hard to choose just one). I chose Weaving in Back-story. This group had a lot of great information and broke down the different types of ways the history of a character could be brought into a story without losing the reader. I couldn’t write fast enough!
Next I chose a talk by Nick Conrad of Elora’s Cave Publishing. Nick was a wonderful speaker who gave insight on the proper way to submit. No perfume or confetti needed. Write a good book, learn the proper way to prepare a cover letter, and make sure you submit to the right place. Thanks Nick!
After that I took in Jessica Faust class on how to perfect your pitch. My little secret is I’m not ready to pitch but just wanted to meet Jessica because I read her blog all the time. She gave a great seminar and I was impressed with her candor and honesty. She listened to pitches from the audience and critiqued them on the spot. It was a great way for us to learn what to do, what not to do and how to cut right to the conflict in your book. After meeting Jessica I can definitely say she is someone I’d love to have for an agent. Thank you, Jessica! It was a lot of fun.
I’m going back today for round two. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Gotta have it?

Does your story need sex? How much is too much? Do you need it at all?
When working on your latest novel it’s almost a given you get to the part where your hero may have the chance to indulge. Perhaps one of them meets an old friend—or a new one, or maybe he’s kidnapped by Amazon space women (or men!) from the planet Venus? If your plot isn’t really about the love story how integral is the sex part? I mean in real life people meet and fall into bed (or the back seat) all the time so any story could have the potential for a sex scene.
The question is: how do you handle it? I mean do you really want to spend your valuable word count talking about stoking your hero’s penis? I guess that would depend on what genre you’re writing for and the book’s overall tone.
Romance novels? These have all different levels from innocent to hot and spicy. Nuff said?
So what about the mystery? The spy novel? Sci-fi? How do you know how much sex is needed to “flesh” out your book or when you’re going overboard?
How do YOU handle this question in your writing?

INTERNATIONAL HARMONY-Where does it come from?

It comes from the next generation of course. Imagine if some of the leaders of this world who are so anti American had the chance to live with an American family and learn their day to day life? What if they were there through the highs and the lows and had a chance to discover that American's aren't so different from anyone else in the world. We have families, children and just go day to day taking care of everyone around us. And what if they discovered the freedoms we have here in America? They would have a chance to live in a country where they weren't arrested for speaking their opinions and learn its okay to disagree as long as you don't hurt anyone. What if they learned the beauty that lies in freedom and democracy first hand?
How do we give the children of the world this chance?
HOST AN EXCHANGE STUDENT~
Let the children of the world into America to discover what we're really like and let them go home and spread the word.
http://www.exchangestudents.org/
casenj@exchangestudents.org
Tell them the Aimlesswriter sent you.
:)

CHUCK & LARRY 5 STARS!

Just came from the theater where we saw "I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK & LARRY" and it was great! These two high energy comedians fill the theater with laughs. A great supporting cast moves the story along so that quickly you won't realize that almost two hours have passed until the credits roll.

Probably not for kids but if you're mature enough and not offended by (sometimes a little crude) sexual comments go see this flick. It makes fun of homophobics and shows how being true to one's self can release your soul. Leave your preconceived notions of whats proper at home and dare to laugh!

I loved it. Still laughing in NJ.

Poor Jane Austen

Eighteen publishers rejected Jane Austen in the last few months. A writer named David Lassman changed the names of characters and title and sent Pride and Prejudice out to 18 publishers. They all sent rejection letters to poor Jane. I really want to read those letters. Were they just the standard form letters like the ones I have in a Mickey Mouse can under my desk? Or did they get more personal? Except for one who told the writer not to copy Pride and Prejudice so closely I think they were all standard. Did none of them recognize Jane’s work? Or did they and just didn’t want to waste time pointing this out to the author? Were they sitting at their desks thinking, “Another Jane Austen wannabe”.
It leads me to wonder why she was rejected. Bad writing? Slow moving story? Execution not up to par? Or perhaps it wouldn’t make it in today’s market. In this time that has gone beyond sex, drugs and rock and roll, through the times of instant gratification and into the new millennium with barely a glance to the past is it just that there is no market for Pride and Prejudice now? Or perhaps the craft of writing has grown/matured the same way society has grown up?
That leads to what’s hot now? They say chick lit is dying (however I tend to believe they are just renaming it), paranormal is in and, of course, romance in all genres is here to stay. Although, romance has taken on many different forms it never really goes away. What about mystery? Horror? Espionage?
Now I wonder about Stephen King? James Patterson? Dean Koontz? Would their first books jump to best sellers if they were submitted today? I’d like to hope so. I think some writers (forgive me Ms. Austin) just never go out of style. Murder, Sex and anything that pits human against ghost has a fairly good job of getting someone’s attention. Scare me, make my spine tingle and leave the lights on at night and I’ll stay up to read. J.A. Konrath’s serial killers are among the scariest dudes I’ve ever come across. The picture’s James Paterson paints in my head will probably never leave. And Stephen King? I think a part of me is still in the gym with Carrie.
Question: Do you try to write for the market? Or do you just write for your soul?