Sunday, August 28, 2011

Procrastination & Fear

I don't know why but for some reason I fear getting my work out there into the world. I've been calling it procrastination but, if I'm honest, it's fear. And I'm not generally a shy person.
My daddy once gave me the best advice I ever got: Keep your ears open and your mouth shut. (I wonder if he told me this because he saw my true nature lurking even when I was very young)
But its true. If you're ears are open you hear all kinds of things you don't hear when your mouth is going. This advice has gotten me through lots of tense situations. However, my rising sign sits on the cusp of Scorpio and Libra. I can hang back, take it in and then...and then...well, Scorpio's sting. Quick and lethal. I'm not real fearful of people or situations. My Scorpio takes over if pushed too far and SMACK! (literally or figuratively-whichever is necessary)
So why am I so fearful of this? My feet drag, I know I should get back to polishing my novella, Soul Mates, but I stall.
I think it's like opening a door and not knowing what's on the other side. Is it a fear of failure? Reviews? Critiques? Friends and Relatives seeing the inside of my mind? (Scary sometimes, although, Soul Mates is not one of the scary ones)
I have a friend who has a book out. It has a great premise but got really terrible reviews. I know she's a good writer, I've read other work she wrote. Then I read this and I have to agree with the reviewers. I feel awful. And I know she's written better stuff. So why was this so bad?
Ebooks put me here. Now I don't need any of the big 6 or little dozens to take my work. I can ebook it on Amazon. So there are no gatekeepers between my audience and my writing any more. If I put it out there it either flies on its own or sinks. My choice, my chance.
Then I think what if I have blinders on for my own work? Am I getting enough editing help? Should I join another editing group? Or will the mixed messages you sometimes get in these groups just confuse me?
Or should I take the plunge.
Anyone else so boggled down with ebook fear?


Charles Gramlich said...

I don't have any fear of getting my stuff out there. I do have fear of face to face activities in support of that stuff. I do far better online. I'm just not a social person. But I don't worry too much about getting the stuff in front of folks in the first place.

Aimless Writer said...

I fear the activities too. I don't like crowds or having to be social with people I really don't know. I find it taxing.