Friday, January 04, 2013

Block or Choice?

As I sit here on unemployment I have time to write. Scads of time. So much time that Jano (January's version of Nano run buy a group out of PA) should be a piece of cake. Yet I flounder.
I have all the laundry done and search the house for more. Should I take down the curtains? Wash the dog beds again? Maybe. Or not.
Why aren't I writing?

Perhaps if I leap, truly take the plunge and say I'm a 9 to 5 writer it will become my reality and then what do I do?

I'd have to produce published pieces, right? I'd have to be accepted into a world I've been half-heartedly banging my head against for years.

Success? Would that be an invasion of my privacy? Do I fear that? Having to go out into the world and smooosh with people? Frankly, I'm not much of a smooosher. I'd rather do the fly on the wall bit and watch people.

Or do I fear letting people down. Mostly myself. Admitting to the world and my own soul that writing really is just a hobby that will go nowhere. How sad is that?

I think I'll go lock myself in my home office now and just open my story (aptly named "No Apologies") and see what's there.

So fellow you fear the leap? Or just jump in?

PS: That's my foster dog Leena. She's up for adoption in New Jersey through Castle of Dreams Animal Rescue


Charles Gramlich said...

I always fear. I fear a great deal.

Anonymous said...

As do I. You've basically just described my January. 200 words a day feels like an achievement to me, which leads to self-loathing as I know what a pitiful effort that is. At least we'll never be egotists, right?

Aimless Writer said...

Cassie! I'll have to remember that. I like the Rockie one. When I was younger that was my nickname. :-)~

CasM Xg said...

To fear the leap or just jump in... Depends on who you want to listen to. Timmy (The Inside My Mind Yammer)who often fans the flames of fear, or Awen (Applauding Words Everyone Needs) Awen says: "You can accomplish anything you set out to do! Go for it!" Or Rockie (Rationality of Common Knowledge Influencing Exercise) Rockie says: "Writing is simply - Ass meets chair!"