Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts

Monday, January 13, 2014

Writing, Time, Excuses and Writer's Block

Blame Writer's Block, procrastination, or maybe even fear.
Getting back to writing after vacations, holidays, or any other thing that blips your writer's radar can be hard. In the past four months I've had many blips and can't seem to get back on schedule.

Writer's block?
Not sure this is really my problem. To blast past writer's block I believe a person simply has to give themselves permission to just write. Write bad, write crap, write out of your normal genre or just blast out some fan fiction. But just keep writing without ego and without care. Write.

Vacation?
Yeah, two weeks in Florida and driving there and back kind of depleted my energy. It was a great vacation, but totally knocked me off schedule. On vacation there is no schedule. You do things because you want to go and see and you do things because you're there with others and you want to spend time with them. The better the vacation, the harder it is to get back to work.

Holidays?
Always a schedule breaker. Instead of spending days working, you're now rushing around trying to get things done, shopping, cooking (okay, maybe I lied about cooking), cleaning. Writing is the first thing to take a backseat.

Emo blips?
I lost my brother in October. He was the sweetest, most gentlest soul you would ever meet. He was kind to everyone, determined and dedicated to family and friends. He was sick for a while but when he went it was still a surprise. We thought he was getting better and then -suddenly- CRASH! And he was gone too soon. :( It still seems unreal. Like a bad dream you hope isn't real. You see something and think, "I gotta share this with Mike." But Mike is gone. I still talk to him, hoping his spirit hears me and knows I care and miss him. This also slowed the writing and determination to finish things to a halt. I think it just needs time. Five stages and all that.

Another blip?
Unemployment ran out. :( And I live in NJ. A place with the highest unemployment in the land and no real jobs program. If you look to the State for help they offer classes to help you get employed. Too bad their classes are decades behind what employers are looking for in today's computer age. Even the people I spoke to at Unemployment know this, but are powerless to help. So every morning I send out resumes and then think about writing. I need to be more of a producer. Get things written and put them out there. I know this. What I don't know is why I can't.

School?
Last semester an HTML/CSS/XHTML class kicked my *ss. I would spend days working on assignments and often had to go to the computer lab for help. I scored a B- in that class and almost fell off my chair when I read that grade.

So does any of this excuse not writing? No, of course not. I have to nail down a schedule and stick to it. Help! What's your schedule and how do you stick to it? Any advice?

Monday, November 11, 2013

Life Unexpected

Still trying to Nano and keep up with other writing. Attempting to find a place to sell my artwork and thinking about an Esty shop for that stuff. (Anyone have any luck with Esty?) And then there's life stuff that totally sends my brain into the nowhere-zone. A place where the thought processes are stalled and creativity won't flow.
:(
My brother passed away two weeks ago. Although he had been sick for awhile, we thought he was moving toward recovery and then bam! A downhill spiral and he's gone. Just like that, sudden but not really so sudden. Just unexpected.

Some people channel their hurt and pain into their art and writing and produce great stuff. I think Poe did this in his poetry. His pain is musical in Annabel Lee and we feel the sorrow in his soul. I'm having trouble doing that. I think it's some strange magical gift that you can push your pain out in your art. Me? I hide in pain.
. I think it's something I have to let work itself out. I write best in happiness. I paint in frustration.

Pushing though Nano is hard, but is it worth it? Will something good come of it?

I think the soul knows when it's going to leave. I believe its planned out before we come and can be changed at any time. I mean, we are our souls after all, right? Did this soul come, do what needed to be done and then by some other-worldly knowledge know it was time to move on?

My Nano is based on a writer who wrote a book about a curse. When a man shows up at her door asking for her help because he's a victim of the curse she's frightened. The curse was just something she made up so she knows she can't help this man. Is he really a victim of a curse or just some crazy fan?

Oh great spirit of the Nano....where are you when I need you?

What do you do when you can't write?

Last Day of NANOWRIMO --- Oh No!

 Where did the month go?  Certainly not on the page. I have an outline, some character sketches but mostly I have a lot of research notes.  ...