Never too Late - Life Lesson #1

I knew who I was but not where I was going. Then I let them tell me where I should go instead of exploring for myself. 

Stood there boldly

Sweatin the sun

Felt like a million

Felt like number one

I never felt that strong

Like a rock

            --Bob Seger

We were all there but never knew that was our place in the sun. Our place where we shone with a light so bright the world was ours. Had we known it was ours to take there might have been some better decisions. Less regrets. Less wishing for that do over.

The do over comes I believe, later, in the next life, the next go round on this planet or the next.

Some things ring true. Some things touch that space where the soul lives.

Hemmingway

Van Gogh

Poe

Especially Poe

Sometimes I wonder if the connections we have to these people from history is linked to another life, another existence we once had. Did the shiver we experienced when we walked thought Hemmingway’s house give a glimpse into a life we once passed through in another form? When tears form at the mention of Poe’s name does that show us something more than what we learned from books? The emotion so deep that flows up from the depths of the well of our soul when we stand in front of the original Starry Night from Van Gogh  does that mean something more?

Is time travel real or just an interpretation of the lives we’ve been reincarnated through? Can our next life put us in the time of Poe, the city he saw, the steps he took? Who says we reincarnate forward into a new life, perhaps we can go into any time and live beside those who inspire us today? Or perhaps we did live there and that’s the attraction we have to them now.

I believe the brave pursue their dreams. I’m not sure that’s easy to do when we marry too young or start a family before we’ve sought out our dreams. I think dreams should come first. Especially for those with creative dreams. Those are the hardest to cultivate in our society. Go out, make money, and forsake the dreams of your soul for that so-called American Dream. Happy house, picket fence, kids and a dog.

I’ve lived it, but somewhere deep inside I never understood it. A restlessness stayed with me through it all. Like something was missing. Something was out there and just beyond my vision. Beyond my reach.

Robert Frost knew it. He spoke of that road not taken and the bravery to walk that path.

It’s never too late to dream a new dream or plan a new plan. Here at 61 I’m seeking that which has eluded me all these years. I feel the years but they don’t make me stubble yet, they don’t stop me from seeking that which was missing, that which was lost.

Here I start a new adventure, a new business. One of art and sharing this creativity.  One I never dreamed to achieve.

Updates to follow…..

Writing without Fear

Found this meme and thought it really related to writing. 

One of the things that holds a lot of people back is judgement.

Am I good enough?

Will they laugh at me?

Do I really know what I'm doing?

Other writers will think my book is stupid.

My friends will think my book stinks!

I'll be embarrassed...

At some point writers have to just get over it. Some never do. Some never care what other's think. 

Today a guy I've known since I was in grammar school wanted to know where he could buy my books. (Yay!) But I can't say I didn't have that little tingle of fear that said, "Will he like them? Will he get it?" It took a moment to just brush that off and send him the link. 

The first book I put up was Soul Mates. A story about a person reincarnated as a Chihuahua who goes through a rough time to find happiness. I foster a lot of abused dogs and always wondered what put that fear into their eyes before they came to my house, so I wrote about it. I put that book up without fear because I liked the story. I didn't think about who else would like it. I thought it was a story I had to tell for the dogs.  

The next book was harder. For a long time I had to remind myself to shrug off the fear and just do what I wanted to do. Write. Tell stories. 

Stephen King once said he wanted to be remembered as a good story teller. I hold on to that because he's right. I just want to share the stories and hope they give someone a little escape and maybe some happiness for just a short while. 

Someone once said, "Courage is just fear holding out for one more minute."

So, here's to courage! May we laugh at fear and kick it to the curb while we post our stories and share our art. Some may love it, some may not, but we're too busy to notice because we're working on the next story. 

See you in the pages....

Self Accountability & Your Art

Challenge for the New Year; Get things done.

What separates those who get things done from those who don't? Determination? Organization? Maybe a little of both?

Three ways to get things done;

1. Go to work
2. Stick to that schedule
3. Eliminate excuses

Make writing a job you go to at a specific time. Its a "Life Work," something that feeds your soul and if often shuffled off to the get to later file. The difference between Life Work and what we do for a living could be passion. That drive that makes a person write even when it might not go anywhere. That drive that comes from somewhere deep inside. It's just what you do, who you are. 

Sticking to that writing schedule. When I was producing the most writing, I was writing from 5:30 to 7 a.m. before that real life job. Then the schedule changed, work changed, and I let my mind get bogged down with the outside stuff. The first thing that went was my writing schedule. I can only wonder...why did I lose it? 

Excuses are ugly. I heard that quote somewhere, probably back in my karate days. (long time ago!) Millions of excuses are available if we chose to take them. Avoiding that urge is the key to getting things done. 

For Christmas, someone gave me this little notebook. The front of it says, SHE BELIEVED SHE COULD so she did. I have lots of notebooks. I'm kind of addicted to them, so what do I do with this one? Then I thought, maybe I need to start tracking productivity. Write it down, make it happen? 

Things to include?

1.  Writing time
2. Art time
3. Exercise time

What's your New Year's Challenge? 

Turbulent Life & Time to Write

I wish I had stairs to do this! 

When life gets crazy--writing gets hard. 
Lots going on right now at home and at work so I'm struggling again with carving out time to write. Some days I come home from work and my brain is fried. I just want to veg-out and if I do pick up my laptop, it's usually for surfing art on Pinterest.  Some really awesome artists post there and after writing, painting is my next love. 

At work I've been designing artwork/lettering for company trucks and doing some copy writing. Although I started there as a receptionist, my job has morphed into much more and I'm having a great time. However, a busy day at work can be draining.  When my brain is mush, I'm not sure I can give my manuscript my best. 

Just did a major home improvement, which sent dust everywhere and drove me crazy. Now it's done so the house doesn't seem to be such a wreck any more. As a former stay-at-home-mom, I still feel like the house is my job and if it's a mess, that's all I think about. 

Am I making excuses??? Hmmmm....could be. Everything is an excuse when you don't write. I just have to figure out which excuses are valid and which are my anchors of procrastination. 

Back to the wall-best way to write. 

Did I mention my desk? Due to the shuffling we did in the house, my desk is now up against a wall. My desk use to be set out from the wall so I could slip behind it and my back would be to the wall. I know this might sound weird but when I write, if someone comes up behind me it startles me big time. I nearly jump out of the chair. So I'm thinking of moving it, I just don't know where. 

Where are you Edgar? 

And I can't find my Edgar Allan Poe action figure since moving my desk. 


The excuses are mounting....

How's your writing going? What are your usual excuses?  

Left Brain Right Brain Insane

I wish for a life where I can write and/or paint all day. This tree was a housewarming gift for a friend. It took me four hours and I'm pretty okay with how it turned out. 

I think all writers are artists and all artists are writers. Even if they don't know it, I believe it comes from the same side of the brain. The theory goes; left-brain people are more organized and systematic. Right-brain people are more creative and intuitive. I think art takes organization and is systematic so I don't understand this theory. To make a tree I have to stare at trees, absorb tree structure...then sketch it and outline it and on and on...

Writing is the same. Even if we start with random writing and just pushing forward without knowing where we're going to end up, writing -   good writing- has structure. It takes the systematic placement of elements in a story to create direction and plot for the story. Then we throw in all that creativity and we've got one best selling novel. (at least that's what I've heard. . . I haven't hit best seller yet.) 

So right brain, left brain doesn't make sense. I'm thinking those who invested the research into this theory might have missed something. But just to be sure...I'm going to go take the test. 

Below is the tree I painted Sunday for a friend. The right brain sketched it out, the left brain filled it in...wait, maybe that was left to sketch and right to fill...or ....

Book Baby? KindleDirect? Promotion?

Now that our congress has cut off the unemployment benefits I fear I might have to return to the cube farm.

Panic sets in.

I remember the cube cage and how grey and ugly it could be. Day after day dragging my ass to work, that sinking feeling in my heart as the car drew closer and closer. Bracing myself mentally to enter that moldy old building and then sinking into a cube and feeling the creativity cells in my brain shrink back in horror. I fear the cube. New Jersey has one of the highest unemployment rates in the county. Even getting back in  a cube might be hard to do. Retail? Yuk! Truthfully, I've never had a job I loved. Only ones i could stand more than others.

So I've got some stuff ready for Constant Content, will be sending again to the Trues (although their payments are slow, its like an account for the future), and I've signed up for Demand Studios again. Also looking at random freelance jobs. It's a little scary but now I have to see if I'm more afraid of the cube, or putting myself out there to freelance.

I'm also ready to open up an Etsy account. I never really felt my art was anything more than therapy, but in searching Etsy for abstract paintings....I figured what the hell. I'm better than some but no where near others. Maybe I can land in the middle.  I'll have that shop opened in January. Its doubtful it will return any great amount but between that and the Cafe Press T-shirt shop, I might get gas money.

Now that classes are over I have to decide where to go and what to do. Another class? Finish the half finished degree in English? Maybe switch it to Creative Writing... its almost the same thing, right?  If I sign up for day classes am I going to have to drop them if I get a job?

An email from Book Baby popped into my email box and after looking over the site I wonder if I'd sell more books by using them? I still have to research the facts there, but it might be a possibility if it will sell more books. Anyone use Book Baby???  Use any other book promotion businesses?

The times they are a changin'......

Life Unexpected

Still trying to Nano and keep up with other writing. Attempting to find a place to sell my artwork and thinking about an Esty shop for that stuff. (Anyone have any luck with Esty?) And then there's life stuff that totally sends my brain into the nowhere-zone. A place where the thought processes are stalled and creativity won't flow.
:(
My brother passed away two weeks ago. Although he had been sick for awhile, we thought he was moving toward recovery and then bam! A downhill spiral and he's gone. Just like that, sudden but not really so sudden. Just unexpected.

Some people channel their hurt and pain into their art and writing and produce great stuff. I think Poe did this in his poetry. His pain is musical in Annabel Lee and we feel the sorrow in his soul. I'm having trouble doing that. I think it's some strange magical gift that you can push your pain out in your art. Me? I hide in pain.

. I think it's something I have to let work itself out. I write best in happiness. I paint in frustration.

Pushing though Nano is hard, but is it worth it? Will something good come of it?

I think the soul knows when it's going to leave. I believe its planned out before we come and can be changed at any time. I mean, we are our souls after all, right? Did this soul come, do what needed to be done and then by some other-worldly knowledge know it was time to move on?

My Nano is based on a writer who wrote a book about a curse. When a man shows up at her door asking for her help because he's a victim of the curse she's frightened. The curse was just something she made up so she knows she can't help this man. Is he really a victim of a curse or just some crazy fan?

Oh great spirit of the Nano....where are you when I need you?

What do you do when you can't write?

Can't Stop Painting...

Old Chairs blooms again!

Old Table now strutting it's stuff!

Old kid chairs Out of this world

Old bar stool Roars to life!

Writing Time...where did you go????

My writing has slacked way off and I'm sad to say I let other priorities get in the way. I'm unemployed at the moment and the books and short story I have up on Amazon aren't generating enough to buy me a new pair of Cowboy boots. So when I heard about an artist consortium starting one town over I took my paint brushes and went over to say hey.
This place, Artfully Repurposed, is all about artists taking old worn out stuff and recreating it into useful household items or works of art. One of the best things; I get to paint of on stuff. Something I always loved to do. Chairs, rocks, feathers, boxes, old benches, if its not moving, I'll paint pictures on it. The way this place works is they sell, artists get a cut.
Yeah, i can do this and maybe make some bucks. It would take time to get this new store up and running and draw customers in, I figure there's some potential here.
So I was dividing my time between writing and painting. Then the Art shop decided it was going to do a show and therein lied my dilemma. Write or paint like crazy to get more of my stuff entered in the show?

These are just a few thing I painted. The show was fun and after all the work I sold an owl rock. Disappointed?
Eh. Not really. I've sold enough of my artwork to know its a hot & cold business. In the art world you're either rolling in it or scraping by. Its the reason I ended up with a boring, mind draining, office job.

Now I need to get back to writing. Schedule writing time in like I did before. My only problem....the paint brushes are in there on my bench...calling to me...

Work of Art for Writers

There was a show on Bravo for two seasons (I'm praying it comes back!) that brought like 20 artists together for a competition: Work of Art, the next great artist. Each week they'd be given an assignment, work through it and then it goes to the gallery for judging and some one's eliminated. I loved this show. Watching the artistic process, seeing how each artist comes up with his own ideas for challenge and the rush to finish by the deadline.
So I was thinking this would be cool for writers except for one thing....watchin a dozen or so writers sit and curse at their puters while they pounded the keys and hit the delete button probably wouldn't be too entertaining.
Too bad.
However, I could probably watch Stephen King write.
Not matter how interesting the process, the grunt work isn't always that entertaining in some industries. Watching a work of art go from lumps of clay and paint to magical works can be interesting. When writing the excitement is all in your head. The scenes are like visions that take us into another, far away world that is much more fun than everyday stuff.

So here I sit on a Sunday afternoon, ignoring the counter clutter, laundry and other stuff, to go into that far away land inside my brain. Its so much more interesting than anything else I could be doing today.

Crayons!

There is a blog called Crayons and it's awesome. Check it out.
There is another artist called Don Marco who does amazing stuff with Crayola Crayons. You can see his artwork here. I think I've blogged about him before.
So, I just had to buy a box of crayons and on this lazy day at work I did this:

Got Crayons?

Does the medium control the artist or does the artist control the medium? Whether painting, writing, or preforming (singing, insturmental, acting), would your talent extend to other venues? Could the concert violynist master the piano at will?
Or if you're an excellent artist with pencil is it that much of a leap to move to paint?
To relate this to writing how many writers switch genres at will? Is it really such a stretch to believe a romance writer can write a thriller? One of my stories is a thriller but with romantic elements. I didn't do this on purpose it just came out that way. I think in real life those "romantic elements" can come at us at any time, no matter what we're going through. So doesn't that stand to realize the same would be true in any kind of fiction? I think the degree that we inject it into our story is in our control. A thriller still needs the main focus to be whatever is pushing your plot but a bit of romance or an other element that would normally happen in real life could give your story more life.
Just a thought. Am I making any sense here?
The above picture makes me wonder about these things. This picture was done in a medium I never would have attempted. If you go to his website you can see more of these amazing pictures done entirely with Crayola Crayons.
And you thought they were just for kids...
:)

What would you do for your art?

Everyone knows that writers and artists are flaky. What they don't know is that its a skill just like anything else. When they think we're not paying attention we're actually creating things in our mind. Whole worlds can begin and end as I day dream at work. When they see that small smile on my face they think I'm encouraging them to keep talking but really I just had a break through on my WIP and as soon as they go away I'm breaking out the note pad to get it down. Hell, half the time I don't wait for them to leave.

Emperor Sutoku (Japan-12th Century) was exiled for three years. He spent this time copying the Lankauarn Sutra (Buddist religious work) in red ink. This was a special red ink. He made it himself---his own blood! He wrote the 135 pages, 10,500 words in hopes that he would be rewarded by Buddha. (I wonder if he was a little dizzy when it was finished.)
It may have worked. Sutoku was returned to power and ruled for two decades!

So? What would you do? How far would you go for your work?
Thoughts?

Eye of the Beholder

This painting won second place at the county fair. (No, I didn't paint it-I wish!) But only won second place? Look carefully as all of God's world is in this painting. Every stroke has a meaning. from the tree branches to the valleys and fields. Look carefully and see the clouds in the eye and within the pupil you see the earth. The more you look the more you see. Amazing. How much thought went into this painting? Why the heck didn't this get first place? I would have definitely given it a first place + plus.

Art; it's all in the eye of the beholder. Perspective is everything.

Isn't this also true about writing? Its why one editor will love you and the other blows you off. I think this perspective is what keeps me writing. Knowing that one rejection (or twenty) does not mean that there isn't someone out there who will love it. Someone who's day will be made that much happier by reading what we wrote.

I wonder where Stephen King would be now if he hadn't found Bill Thompson. Would someone else have seen the potential of Carrie? Made it such a great best seller?

So we write on, curse the dark and hope for the future. Wait for someone with the perspective that will match our story. And hope they out there. Somewhere.

P.S. I didn't get this artist name, but if you're out there let me know and I'd be glad to post your name. You are an amazing artist.

How much you want for this?

Another turning point...

This photo is my latest WIP. Tomorrow is my last day at work. Feels strange. Freeing, scary, exciting and I'll miss my boss. She was the best boss in the world. It was a great office. Nice people worked there.

Via con dios' mi amigos.

Another turning point a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist directs you where to go
So make the best of this test and don't ask why
It's not a question but a lesson learned in time
It's something unpredictable but in the end It's right
I hope you had the time of your life
So take the photographs and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good heath and good time
Tattoos and memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while
It's something unpredictable but in the end It's right
I hope you had the time of your life
It's something unpredictable but in the end It's right
I hope you had the time of your life
It's something unpredictable but in the end It's right
I hope you had the time of your life