Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Inky missing

Inky seemed to be fading fast. Her gait was unsteady, she was losing more weight and her eyes were glassy.
Saturday we sat out on the deck together for a while. She seemed weaker. After a while she got up and went over and laid in the grass. I went in to cook dinner. I looked out at her a few times and she was just laying in the grass. Then I looked out and she was gone.
We can't find her anywhere.
:(
We have a fenced in yard. In her condition I don't think she could have climbed out. We have a very low deck, encased in lattis and surrounded by over grown hosta. I tried to look under it, took a flashlight and looked between the cracks. Reached into all the bushes, checked the shed. I can't find her anywhere. People tell me some animals do this. They go off when its time.
I can't accept this. I have to find her.
:(

7 comments:

spyscribbler said...

Oh, Aimless, oh, man. I'm so sorry. I hope you get closure. :-(

I hope poor Inky is either okay, or had a peaceful passing. Poor baby. Poor mommy!

When my cat died, DH had to close all the windows because I was crying so loud and he was afraid people would call the police. I'm feeling for you now, Aimless.

Aimless Writer said...

Thanks for your kind words Spy.
I'm heartbroken. I think I know she probably fell asleep somewhere and didn't wake up but I have to find her to make sure.
I don't think I can get over this until I do.
I want my husband to start ripping up planks from the deck. He thinks I'm crazy.

Erica Orloff said...

Aimless:
My Honi dog did that. She was breathing hard, walking lopsided, whined to go out in the yard, never came back. We lived in a populated area. It wasn't POSSIBLE for her to just disappear. And she had never, in 12 years, wandered off. But she did . . .

I sobbed for weeks. It's five years later, and I STILL sob at times. There was never a more perfect dog. But the "missing" part bothered me most of all. I would cry to my mom about it--how I wanted to BE there to hold the dog's head while she took her last breath, that sort of thing. My mom was really wise. She said, THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED, not what SHE wanted. And I thought about it. When humans die, we (most of us anyway) try to respect if they don't want life support, or we try to respect their burial requests, their last will and testament. We honor their wishes. So for what it's worth--and I am sure it's worth very little because you are so sad now and I so understand--but for what it's worth, that helped me get past the anguish I felt. I sort of honored how she chose to do it.
E

Aimless Writer said...

Erica, Your mother's words help more then you know. I've had animals my whole life. Right now thats three dogs, two cats, bird, even the assorted reptiles here and there. So I know sometimes its the way of animals but I wanted her in my arms. I wanted to be there for her. I held my mother when she passed so I wasn't afraid. I can accept. But I want to know she passed and that she's at peace.
Thanks for passing on your mom's words of wisdom. I will hold them in my heart. They help.

Erica Orloff said...

Aimless:
I've been thinking of you often. After I posted, I was hoping my comment wasn't intrusive on your sadness. I am relieved it helped a bit.
E

Julie Weathers said...

Aimless,

I am so sorry. Animals, especially cats, do often wander away when it's time. I hope you find her, it is a terribly hard thing to go through. I had to put my Aussie down last year and it just broke my heart.

One thing you have to keep in mind. Inky had a very long and loving life. That is such a blessing you were able to help her with that.

spyscribbler said...

Hey, Aimless.

Just thinking of you.

*hugs*