I was wandering around over at Mark Terry's blog where he said something about NASA and that their code is "Failure is not an Option".
The post was mostly about Stephen Parrish and his new book The Tavernier Stones. (Quick! Everyone needs to order a copy right now!) and how he helped nudge Stephen to the place he needed to be to find success.
This toggled me over to Stephen's blog and how he got published. He's done more rewrites then I ever thought possible. But more than that...he never gave up.
Failure was not an option.
It was the push I needed.
It's time to get back on the horse and if I can't find the old horse. Maybe I'll just have to write me a new one. I think I'm going to take back my 20 minute rule (every time I have 20 minutes I write--something) and just write. Good or bad I'm just going to write.
I think when real life throws us curves it's easy to forget our motivation and what moves us forward toward our own successes. Imagine if Stephen Parrish had given up at one of his many rewrites?
I think sometimes we need to remember that Failure is not an option we're going to accept.
The dream you hold could change the world.
https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/31b1+eUaOyL.jpg
Sunday, March 07, 2010
Saturday, March 06, 2010
Why I can't write...
So I've been struggling with not being able to write for a couple of months now. This situation is new to me. I've been writing since I was...maybe 5 or 6? When I first discovered the joy of putting pen to paper all I wanted to do was write down stories. Things would come into my head and I'd just start putting them down. I remember when I was 8 or 9 my mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas I answered a pen and a new pad of paper. She laughed and said, "No, really, what do you want?"
But I spoke the truth. It was my idea of a perfect gift. Give me something to tell my stories with and I'll be in heaven.
So you get why this idea of not writing is like someone put the brakes on my soul. It's in there, I know it, I can still feel it but there's something blocking it, keeping it inside. Like a trapped tiger I can feel it pacing, frustration growing as it looks for an opening.
So not being able to write has led me to searching for why I'm not writing. I'm analyzing my world, my life and my relationships.
First: My daughter moved to Florida for school. She needs a job and has been looking for months. I'm worried. I know she's a smart girl, educated (BS in psychology), and a hard worker. She made the Dean's list last semester, Yay! There's no reason she can't find a job. The economy sucks, thousands upon thousands are unemployed. I have hope that the economy will turn around. There's a job for her, it will come and I try not to worry. But hey! I'm a mom, it's my vocation.
Second: I had shoulder surgery three years ago. I still have a lot of pain and some days its worse...really worse. So I'm thinking I have to go back to the orthopedist and I'm scared he's going to say surgery again. The first round was blindingly painful and I fear doing it again. So I've put off calling the orthopedist. Call me a coward, I am.
Third: I'm not in love with my job. It's easy and boring. I'd rather be challenged. The people I work with are really nice and I'd hate to leave them but...the boredom is...crushing.
Fourth: Saturn is still in Virgo and transiting my first house. The first house represents energy, vitality and deepest desires. It's also linked to your state of health. Hmmmm, I think we're on to something here...
Saturn is the planet that challenges us, makes up step up and be counted. Some fear this planet because it twists your reality around and throws curve balls. It's been in Virgo for the last ...three years, I think?
Is any of this the reason I can't write? Who knows. I still get ideas. Things pop into my head and I blurt them down onto my hard drive but can't get it to go any further.
Writer's block...I always thought it was a myth. Now I'm not so sure.
How do you deal with writer's block?
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Sometimes I just can't write. This is something new. I've never not been able to write. In fact writing has been my safe harbor. Its the place I go to get away from everything else. But now...
It looks like we'll be snowed in this weekend. They are calling it a Snow-i-cane. A blizzard with hurricane like winds. Right now I'm at work watching the big flakes of snow cover my car outside my window. Some of the cars have their windshield wipers pulled out like bug antenna. I think they do this to keep them from freezing to the window. I've never done it. I'm New Jersey born and bread and fear someone will come along and snap it off. Not that this is a bad area but I imagine these things with such clarity that I can see them happening.
Love many, trust few...always paddle your own canoe. Words to live by.
So I pulled out an old manuscript from a few years ago and I've been going through it and scraping off the goo. You know that hazy combination of words that really take your story nowhere? Its a major clean up. As I look at these pages I wonder how I ever thought this stuff was ready for an agent? A good reason to step back and let a story peculate.
I think my writing group thinks I'm crazy. I bring different pieces of different stories every week. Sometime I just don't need/want feedback yet. I know it's not ...right...so I need to fix that before i show it to others. And there's always another story laying around I'm dabbling with that could use a tweak. That's what I bring. My secondary story. Like a secondary plot in a book, it's there but it isn't the main piece of work right now.
So tell me, how do you keep the juices flowing?
This is Rusty. We fostered him for about a week. He's a very loving and smart dog and I know he'll be a great addition to his fur-ever family. And I miss him.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Got no flow....
Most times writing is the easiest thing I do. When I need to escape or have something to say it just flows out of my fingertips without a moments hesitation.
But The Blue Diamond is a struggle. I have to wonder if this is because its like an assignment. Or maybe a cross between an assignment and a challenge.
I'm writing it from an announcement by The Wild Rose Press that asks people to write something for their new Jewels of the Night line. I figured I was such a slacker lately that I needed a challenge.
Things like this usually excite me. Make me step up and just get it done, but somehow I'm just not finding the flow.
Is it the depression that seems to shadow me these days? The disappointment I feel with my day job? Inability to find a publisher for my last work?
Who knows.
My birds are leaving the nest. My best friends are taking off and finding their own lives, their own space in time and it's taking my soul.
Usually I embrace change.
I love new and different things whether it's moving to a new place, changing around a room, or changing jobs. I'm usually a try-new-things, jump-straight-in kind of person.
So why am I floundering now? I knew this was coming, worked hard to make them as prepared as possible and I'm happy to say they have turned out to be very capable, mature, intelligent young women. I'm so proud of them.
So why can't I find my place in the world now? I always knew where it was before, every change made me happy. Why can't I embrace this?
Can I coin the teen phrase, "Whatever"?
I'm making myself push through the Diamond, blurting it all down on the hard drive and hoping for the best. It's an effort to finish and an effort to get my flow back.
Hopefully, that's one thing I can get back.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Foster dog....
Her name is Carmel but we've been calling her Peanut because she looks like one. This morning I received an email saying someone is interested in adopting her.
We receive this with mixed feelings. Although she's only been with us for 5 days she's fitting in real well.
She's loving and sweet and afraid of everything. This little scaredy cat is always ready for play and does laps around the house at top speed. She like a little furry bullet streaking through the rooms.
Today our dog, Halston actually started playing with her. Now Halston turns 14 in the spring so she doesn't play as much as she used to but it was good to see her giving chase to the little peanut.
I have to call the potential adopter tonight to set up a time to meet. Probably Sunday. My daughter is heartbroken. She fell in love with the little fuzzball and wanted to keep her. :(
Its hard to remember that this is the right thing to do. We can't keep every dog but we can help them find good homes. This home has one of Peanut's litter mates and the mom is a stay at home mom. In our house we work all day so the little girl is crated at this point (till she learns her toilet manners and stops chewing on every thing in site). She's going to a good home, we have to remember that.
The other foster mom's tell me that letting go of the first dog is always the hardest. She promises it will get easier...
Monday, January 25, 2010
Fame and writing rules
Once upon a time a very nice editor told me that I was a head-hopper. Although it sucks to hear something like that after she requested a full it was probably the nicest thing she could have done. Now I keep a sharp eye out for that head-hopping stuff. It's so easy to fall into another character's head when he's not looking. After all, I know what he's thinking...why shouldn't everyone else?
But that's not good writing, is it? I think it was like a major deal breaker on the road to publication.
Enter Famous writer...
I have a 40 minute ride to work and listen to books on tape/CD. Right now I'm listening to a book on tape by a very famous romance novelist. She's a household name. Even if you never read romance or wouldn't even consider one of her books..you know her. She's top of the heap in her genre.
This book is a major head-hopper. I've even backed the CD up a few times to listen again. You know, to make sure I was paying attention and didn't miss some important scene change or something that would let me move to the new POV but uh-uh, this book bounces back and forth so much my ears ache. I want to snatch up my red pen and start editing.
I know this is on CD and therefore I can't see what I could see in print and that could make a difference. Like when there is a double space to indicate time change or some other way to move POV. But there would have to be a lot of white space in this book to make up for all the shifts.
My question is; Does fame make you impervious to the rules? Does there come a time when the editor stops editing if you're too famous?
Anyone else see this happen?
Sunday, January 24, 2010
The Foster Child
This is Carmel and she is our first foster dog. She was rescued from a high kill shelter in North Carolina. She was rescued and brought up here about a month ago and has had three foster homes so far. Mostly because of unforeseen life events that changed the foster families' dynamics. I told her she would stay with us till she found her forever home.
My daughter wants to keep her. She's easy to love. Half Dachshund, half Basset Hound. Her body is long, legs short and tail always wagging. Five pounds of love.
As soon as we got her home she put her nose to the ground and investigated every nook and cranny of the house. We took her outside so she'd get the idea from our other dog about what not to do in the house and she came back in and promptly peed in her crate.
At least it was in the crate.
It's been a long day and now she's sacked out on the big dog bed and snoozing.
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