Responsibility & Life

So much of life is about taking responsibility. Responsibility for a job, car/house payment, kids, pets and so on and so on and so on. Sometimes it's scary and sometimes its exciting. I finished my book, Soul Mates and its in final edits (at least I hope they're final!) and soon it will be up on Amazon. It excites me, it scares the hell out of me. And its a responsibility too. When this goes out with any mistakes, typos or story line glitches its out there for the world to see. Scary. Sink or swim. No take backs. Sometimes I think the only way people succeed is if they drop the fear, take the responsibility and just go for it. Was Thomas Edison afraid to flip the switch and let them see his new toy? Did he wonder if he'd be laughed at or just figure his toy was so awesome of course they would love it. Maybe Thomas' experience isn't quite the right one to bring forth. But as for writers? The traditional writers wouldn't be a comparison because they had editors, professional designers, and a whole crew at a publishing house. I forgo all that to jump in as an Indy. Somedays I want to shout; TELL ME I'M NOT CRAZY! Going it alone is scary and thrilling. And with great power comes great responsibility. Soon. What's that dog got to so with all this responsibility stuff? She's my foster dog Daisy. Came up from Tennessee before Christmas and I think her situation might have been abusive. She sometimes flinches when I raise my hand. She didn't play or even look at the toys until she was here over two weeks. She came a fragile little ball of fur and is slowly coming to trust. Finding a home for a dog like this is a great responsibility. I want the home to be loving and kind and most of all gentle with this lost little soul. I want to make the best choice when I match her to a forever family. See, it's the "R" word again. It follows our lives like ...well i was going to say the stars above and be nice and poetic but the vision that hits me is like gum stuck to your shoe or too much peanut butter in the roof of your mouth. It's there, it's sticky and you can't get rid of it. So I guess I'll embrace it.

From Writing to Painting....

I'm almost thinking I should change this blog to AimlessPainter as I'm painting more than writing right now. Or (see Pic) burning. That piece of wood was etched with a wood burner and when I'm done burning it I'll paint around the burn marks. I like this stuff but almost asphyxiate myself with the smoke while working. This piece is about 8 feet long and I'm going to use it as a valance in the front living room. I'll post a pic when it's done and up. I'm still editing my Soul Mates novella and it's coming along. What I can't believe is that after three full edits I still find something.

I have a reader who is helping and we're passing the story back and forth as we edit. I was hoping to have it up on Amazon by Sept, then November...now I'm seeing the reality is that it might be up by Christmas because I'm sick of looking at it and ready to work on something else. I think painting and wood burning is keeping me sane during this process. Instead of just editing I still get to create something. Next project under the paintbrush will be a three canvas beach scene. So? What do you do when writing just isn't enough?

Copyrights and Ebooks

For anyone who has an ebook on Amazon or B&N: Do you have a copyright on your books? Did you do the whole register with the copyright office or a poor man's copyright? (Where you mail yourself a copy and not open it)
How does this work? Do we need it? If you publish on Amazon does that kind of save your rights in any way?
I'm almost ready. Now just ironing out the details.
That's a picture of Hemmingway's desk. I take inspiration from it.

Procrastination & Fear

I don't know why but for some reason I fear getting my work out there into the world. I've been calling it procrastination but, if I'm honest, it's fear. And I'm not generally a shy person.
My daddy once gave me the best advice I ever got: Keep your ears open and your mouth shut. (I wonder if he told me this because he saw my true nature lurking even when I was very young)
But its true. If you're ears are open you hear all kinds of things you don't hear when your mouth is going. This advice has gotten me through lots of tense situations. However, my rising sign sits on the cusp of Scorpio and Libra. I can hang back, take it in and then...and then...well, Scorpio's sting. Quick and lethal. I'm not real fearful of people or situations. My Scorpio takes over if pushed too far and SMACK! (literally or figuratively-whichever is necessary)
So why am I so fearful of this? My feet drag, I know I should get back to polishing my novella, Soul Mates, but I stall.
I think it's like opening a door and not knowing what's on the other side. Is it a fear of failure? Reviews? Critiques? Friends and Relatives seeing the inside of my mind? (Scary sometimes, although, Soul Mates is not one of the scary ones)
I have a friend who has a book out. It has a great premise but got really terrible reviews. I know she's a good writer, I've read other work she wrote. Then I read this and I have to agree with the reviewers. I feel awful. And I know she's written better stuff. So why was this so bad?
Ebooks put me here. Now I don't need any of the big 6 or little dozens to take my work. I can ebook it on Amazon. So there are no gatekeepers between my audience and my writing any more. If I put it out there it either flies on its own or sinks. My choice, my chance.
Then I think what if I have blinders on for my own work? Am I getting enough editing help? Should I join another editing group? Or will the mixed messages you sometimes get in these groups just confuse me?
Or should I take the plunge.
Anyone else so boggled down with ebook fear?

Used To Be...

It used to be fear of that almighty rejection letter. Those envelopes would come in the mail and I'd try to push down the hope because...well, I'd had enough of them to know it's probably another rejection.
Then it got worse...email rejections. Those come fairly quick and hit you in the face as soon as you open your email box. Like ripping off a band aid you get that sharp sting-quick but still just as painful.
The times change...publishing rolls on...
And out comes Amazon for Indies.
We can put our books out there. Do it yourself publishing.
I admit I'm a coward, but this comes from years of jumping into the fire without thinking. Sometimes I wonder how I made it this far still unscathed. But I'm here. Older, hopefully wiser and looking at all the Indie authors. I've been reading their blogs for years, watching what and how they figured it out.
And now I'm ready. My book will be out there soon. Thrust into the world of Amazon looking for a chance.
So now without the fear of the rejection letter looming over my head I have a new fear or two.
Am I edited enough?
Is my book clean enough?
Does it flow?
Should I do something more?
I don't worry about going indie any more than I worry about the way I sell my art by walking it store to store. Its just another form of art.
If you're an indie...do you have fears?
The pup is Marley, up from a high kill shelter in Tennessee with her five puppies. She's looking for a home with lots of love.

Multiple genres

As I approach getting ready to Kindle my book I wonder about a pen name. I write in several different genres so I worry about a person who reads my angel books, being upset about the darker books.
When I read Charlaine Harris I expect vampires and shape shifters. When I read Constance O'Day Connor I look for romance.
So, here's my question? How do you pick a pen name? I once read that if you write like King and Koontz you should pick a name that begins with K. Or if you're writing sci-fi pick the same initial as someone who's big in that genre.
Sounds like too much thinking. . . then there's Konrath.
King
Koontz
Hmmmmm, gotta think on this some more.
Do you have a pen name? Where did it come from?

P R O C R A S T I N A T I O N

The biggest waste I have is time. I have so much to do and so little time to do it in, but for some strange reason I procrastinate. I drift from thing to thing, knowing I should be working on my WIP but not quite getting there.

I finished another edit (on paper) of the book I’m thinking of putting up on Amazon and now have to enter these changes in the computer. Then I have someone who will edit it for me a final time. When it passes that, then it goes up.

I think.

No, I know.

Yes, I think this will be a good thing.

It’s an experiment.

It’s a hope.

I guess.

So my plan today is to go home, let the dogs out, feed them, and sit down and get started.

Good plan, right?

Wanna take bets if it will actually happen?

Procrastination is an ugly word. It sits heavy on my shoulders and presses down when I’m trying to get up.

Maybe I’ll pick up some iced coffee first. A little caffeine goes a long way.