Sometimes I just can't write. This is something new. I've never not been able to write. In fact writing has been my safe harbor. Its the place I go to get away from everything else. But now...
It looks like we'll be snowed in this weekend. They are calling it a Snow-i-cane. A blizzard with hurricane like winds. Right now I'm at work watching the big flakes of snow cover my car outside my window. Some of the cars have their windshield wipers pulled out like bug antenna. I think they do this to keep them from freezing to the window. I've never done it. I'm New Jersey born and bread and fear someone will come along and snap it off. Not that this is a bad area but I imagine these things with such clarity that I can see them happening.
Love many, trust few...always paddle your own canoe. Words to live by.

So I pulled out an old manuscript from a few years ago and I've been going through it and scraping off the goo. You know that hazy combination of words that really take your story nowhere? Its a major clean up. As I look at these pages I wonder how I ever thought this stuff was ready for an agent? A good reason to step back and let a story peculate.
I think my writing group thinks I'm crazy. I bring different pieces of different stories every week. Sometime I just don't need/want feedback yet. I know it's not ...right...so I need to fix that before i show it to others. And there's always another story laying around I'm dabbling with that could use a tweak. That's what I bring. My secondary story. Like a secondary plot in a book, it's there but it isn't the main piece of work right now.
So tell me, how do you keep the juices flowing?
This is Rusty. We fostered him for about a week. He's a very loving and smart dog and I know he'll be a great addition to his fur-ever family. And I miss him.

Got no flow....

Most times writing is the easiest thing I do. When I need to escape or have something to say it just flows out of my fingertips without a moments hesitation.
But The Blue Diamond is a struggle. I have to wonder if this is because its like an assignment. Or maybe a cross between an assignment and a challenge.
I'm writing it from an announcement by The Wild Rose Press that asks people to write something for their new Jewels of the Night line. I figured I was such a slacker lately that I needed a challenge.
Things like this usually excite me. Make me step up and just get it done, but somehow I'm just not finding the flow.
Is it the depression that seems to shadow me these days? The disappointment I feel with my day job? Inability to find a publisher for my last work?
Who knows.
My birds are leaving the nest. My best friends are taking off and finding their own lives, their own space in time and it's taking my soul.
Usually I embrace change.
I love new and different things whether it's moving to a new place, changing around a room, or changing jobs. I'm usually a try-new-things, jump-straight-in kind of person.
So why am I floundering now? I knew this was coming, worked hard to make them as prepared as possible and I'm happy to say they have turned out to be very capable, mature, intelligent young women. I'm so proud of them.
So why can't I find my place in the world now? I always knew where it was before, every change made me happy. Why can't I embrace this?
Can I coin the teen phrase, "Whatever"?
I'm making myself push through the Diamond, blurting it all down on the hard drive and hoping for the best. It's an effort to finish and an effort to get my flow back.
Hopefully, that's one thing I can get back.

Foster dog....

Her name is Carmel but we've been calling her Peanut because she looks like one. This morning I received an email saying someone is interested in adopting her.
We receive this with mixed feelings. Although she's only been with us for 5 days she's fitting in real well.
She's loving and sweet and afraid of everything. This little scaredy cat is always ready for play and does laps around the house at top speed. She like a little furry bullet streaking through the rooms.
Today our dog, Halston actually started playing with her. Now Halston turns 14 in the spring so she doesn't play as much as she used to but it was good to see her giving chase to the little peanut.
I have to call the potential adopter tonight to set up a time to meet. Probably Sunday. My daughter is heartbroken. She fell in love with the little fuzzball and wanted to keep her. :(
Its hard to remember that this is the right thing to do. We can't keep every dog but we can help them find good homes. This home has one of Peanut's litter mates and the mom is a stay at home mom. In our house we work all day so the little girl is crated at this point (till she learns her toilet manners and stops chewing on every thing in site). She's going to a good home, we have to remember that.
The other foster mom's tell me that letting go of the first dog is always the hardest. She promises it will get easier...

Fame and writing rules

Once upon a time a very nice editor told me that I was a head-hopper. Although it sucks to hear something like that after she requested a full it was probably the nicest thing she could have done. Now I keep a sharp eye out for that head-hopping stuff. It's so easy to fall into another character's head when he's not looking. After all, I know what he's thinking...why shouldn't everyone else?
But that's not good writing, is it? I think it was like a major deal breaker on the road to publication.
Enter Famous writer...
I have a 40 minute ride to work and listen to books on tape/CD. Right now I'm listening to a book on tape by a very famous romance novelist. She's a household name. Even if you never read romance or wouldn't even consider one of her books..you know her. She's top of the heap in her genre.
This book is a major head-hopper. I've even backed the CD up a few times to listen again. You know, to make sure I was paying attention and didn't miss some important scene change or something that would let me move to the new POV but uh-uh, this book bounces back and forth so much my ears ache. I want to snatch up my red pen and start editing.
I know this is on CD and therefore I can't see what I could see in print and that could make a difference. Like when there is a double space to indicate time change or some other way to move POV. But there would have to be a lot of white space in this book to make up for all the shifts.
My question is; Does fame make you impervious to the rules? Does there come a time when the editor stops editing if you're too famous?
Anyone else see this happen?

The Foster Child

This is Carmel and she is our first foster dog. She was rescued from a high kill shelter in North Carolina. She was rescued and brought up here about a month ago and has had three foster homes so far. Mostly because of unforeseen life events that changed the foster families' dynamics. I told her she would stay with us till she found her forever home.
My daughter wants to keep her. She's easy to love. Half Dachshund, half Basset Hound. Her body is long, legs short and tail always wagging. Five pounds of love.
As soon as we got her home she put her nose to the ground and investigated every nook and cranny of the house. We took her outside so she'd get the idea from our other dog about what not to do in the house and she came back in and promptly peed in her crate.
At least it was in the crate.


It's been a long day and now she's sacked out on the big dog bed and snoozing.

Once upon a Query dreary....

I've been playing over at Slushpile and, of course, I love the Query Shark so I was wondering if there's a formula for this stuff?
I have my own idea on what makes a good query and it breaks down to three things. Conflict, motivation and goal.
The conflict would be the hook or whatever sparks the story. Motivation is why the character feels they have to take action. Life or death? Righting a wrong? Saving someone? something? The goal is where they want to get to, which outcome they are working for.
I usually start with three sentences that say these things and go from there. If more is needed then I start layering in more information. Then I go back and start cutting.
Did I really need this word? Is this fact necessary at this point?
And the biggest questions...Do I have everything the agent needs to get the gist of the story? Is my hook strong enough?
If I were an agent and looking at my 100th query before lunch would this grab me?
I get rejections and I get some reads. Some very nice agents and editors give me good comments along with the not-for-them salutation. It's okay, rejections don't bother me anymore. Some day I'm going to wallpaper my bathroom with them.

How's your query?

Ideas?

I've always believed that ideas are all around us. In John Irving's The World According to Garp the main character sees a red glove in the gutter and develops a whole story around it. From that we invented the game we call "Tell Me". I mostly did this to keep my kid's mind busy when we were in places where they could get unruly. (I figured diverting their attention was better than correcting it. Kind of the head-them-off-at-the-pass theory.) In the game someone picks an object somewhere in the room and challenges the person to tell a whole story behind the object. Amazingly we've found a spoon that dated back to the Civil War and once fed General Grant's horse!
So now I'm collecting ideas. I want to make a file of basic plot lines to have on hand for when I need a challenge or hit a block.
Anyone else do this? Does it help?

Thank God it's Friday!

Shame on the NJ Senate

Last week the NJ Senate voted NO to Gay Marriage. Here's a list of the Senators who feel that not everyone is created equal. They took a giant step back in the evolution of society.
Voting in opposition were:

* Sen. Michael Doherty (R-Warren)
* Sen. Tom Kean (R-Union)
* Sen. Fred H. Madden (D-Camden)
* Sen. Joe Pennacchio (R-Morris)
* Sen. Nicholas Sacco (D-Hudson)
* Sen. Robert Singer (R-Ocean)
* Sen. Jennifer Beck (R-Monmouth)
* Sen. Gerald Cardinale (R-Bergen)
* Sen. Christopher Connors (R-Ocean)
* Sen. Philip E. Haines (R-Burlington)
* Sen. Joseph Kyrillos (R-Monmouth)
* Sen. Kevin O'Toole (R-Passaic)
* Sen. Ron Rice (D-Essex)
* Sen. Shirley Turner (D-Mercer)
* Sen. Christopher Bateman (R-Somerset)
* Sen. Anthony Bucco (R-Morris)
* Sen. John Girgenti (D-Passaic)
* Sen. Sean Kean (R-Monmouth)
* Sen. Steven Oroho (R-Sussex)
* Sen. Jeff VanDrew (D-Cape May)

Thankfully, the fight is not over. Now it goes to court and hopefully a judge will know that all men are created equal and there's no provision in the Constitution that says "except if you're gay".
Some of the nay-sayers suggested it go on the ballot but really, would that be fair?
Would women have the right to vote if it went to a statewide vote?
Would slavery have been outlawed if it went to a country wide vote?
But hey, I'm sure that pesky no talking on the cell while driving law wouldn't have passed if we all had a say in that vote!
Sad to say I'm ashamed of my state. I thought they were more fair and forward thinking. I thought they could separate church and state. I thought they had a brain.

Hello January

Cold weather here in the north east brings pain from an old shoulder injury. The pain radiates from jaw to fingertips so everything seems like an effort. Even typing. I exist on Advil and heating pads while I try to pound out a few pages every day.
And my Blue Diamond seems to be a struggle right now. There are things I have to get settled within the story and it's freakin' boring. She's homeless but I need to have hero-man help her without her being too needy about it. So it's a battle between keeping her independent and letting him in enough to supply some help. I need her slightly indebted to him so she takes up the adventure he's offering.
Does any of this make sense?
How do you get over the abyss in your story? It's there, it tells us stuff we kind of need to know but I feel like I'm missing something here.

Wild Rose Press and finding my groove

Sometimes in this writer's life there comes a certain kind of depression. I recognise it, know it will pass and just enjoy it while it's here. It gives me time to contemplate things I otherwise would be too busy to think about. This time it brought the urge to give up. Thoughts like; Why am I trying so hard? It's never going to happen! I should just give up. Stop the polishing and the rewrites and just forget this idea of getting published.
Whew! I've even stopped visiting my fav agent blogs (a morning ritual). I don't post as much and although I read all my other fav writer's blogs I'm not posting comments there either. I feel like I should crawl into my shell and just let it all pass me by.
:(
Then I got the email newsletter from Wild Rose Press and saw a contest. They are starting a new line and looking for writers to write a story that has "a blue diamond" it in.
Slowly the wheels in my head started squeaking. Turning slowly around the word "blue diamond". So many possibilities leaked through my brain. A person? place? actual diamond? The Blue Diamond could be anything.
And best of all this contest has a deadline.
I love deadlines. They push me, block out all other interuptions and make me move.
So I've been moving, writing once again and it feels good. Then today I realized the depression had lifted. Thoughts cleared and the buzzing in my brain turned into action.
I think sometimes the cure for this writer's depression is a goal. When we have no goals we flounder, wander and sink deeper into the numbness of our own brains.
I have a goal now and hit just hit 30 pages.
Ahhhh....life is good once again.
What do you do when you want to give up? Where is your magic cure for inertia?

It's the Pressure of the Season

As I was driving to work the other day the DJ was talking about not having the Christmas spirit this year and it got me thinking.
I too, lag in spirit this year and I tried to figure out why. I miss the excitement of childhood where I practically danced through December awaiting that big day. When did it disappear? Why did I lose it?

I think it's the pressure.
How many people do I have to buy for? Did I forget anyone? Will they like this? Will they like that?
Oh! Another party tonight! And tomorrow night! When am I going to find time to get anything done?
Company's coming! Clean the house!
Shopping for dinner parties, pick up some wine so you have something to bring to dinner parties, remembering which house you can't bring wine to, and wondering if it's okay to bring store bought cookies because you don't have time to bake.

I admire the people who get all their shopping done early. But how do they know what to buy? I agonize over such things! This causes procrastination and delays the inevitable shopping trips which turn one of my favorite hobbies (shopping) into a torture sessions.

Believe me, the day after Christmas is like letting out a long breath you've been holding for a month...is it over?
Oh no! Another Christmas party on the 27th!
Here we go again....
It's the pressure of the season, hope you survive!
Merry Christmas!

Happy Holidays!

I love this guy!

Open letter to the New Jersey Senate

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."
I believe that line was from the Declaration of Independence. And now in New Jersey the bill for Gay Marriage is up for a vote. It looks like it's going to be close. The only good thing is our lame duck Governor says he'll sign if it makes it to his desk. God bless him.
Now the only argument I've heard against giving gays the right to marry is that marriage is between a man and a woman. I didn't see that in our Declaration. As a matter of fact not much was mentioned about women at all...we need to edit this doc asap!
Is this whole issue a matter of semantics? They can have a civil union but not a marriage then why shouldn't we just have civil unions and do away with marriage entirely? It certainly doesn't make us all equal if only certain types of people can use it, right?
Remember that separation of church and state? In NJ we see lots of religious leaders sitting in the front row ready to speak out against gay marriage. I guess they didn't hear about that separation issue.
Women had to fight for their rights
Blacks had to fight for their rights
And now it's Gays. Who are entitled to the same rights as women, African Americans and every one else. To deny them is unconstitutional and denies them the right to pursue happiness. If we truly are the land of the free we can't exclude any one group and still be true to the freedoms granted to us by the Declaration of Independence and Constitution.
We hold these truths to be self evident. Come on New Jersey Senate! Vote with your heads and with the truths that founded our nation. Vote YES!
Want to do more? Go to Middletown Mike's site for contact information to email the powers that be: http://middletownmike.blogspot.com/

Surprize!

Books, books, and more books...

I have books. Lots of books. Books in bookcases, books under beds, books in boxes, books under tables, books in nooks, nooks full of books, books in boxes in the attic... I was in my office today, which doubles as a gym, and feeling crowded. It's time to get rid of "stuff" and as I look around, aside from the box of manuscripts on the floor and piles of them on my bench, the books are taking over. One bookcase is full of crime stuff; forensic books, books of poisons, studies of criminals and cases, police procedures, etc. Another has art books; painting rocks, acrylics, oils, pastels, drawing, Dewberry, landscapes, etc. The one standing on my work bench has my writing books; everything from the sweet and inspiring Artist's Way to Stephen King's On Writing (he has the heart of a small boy---in a jar on his desk). Moving out to the little alcove we call a library we have books on Celiac Disease, cook books, some collector items, a few fav's we might read again some day, dictionaries(my favorite book!), thesaurus, books on CD's, some Vonnegut's, Koontz, King, Konrath and Corben among others. Moving into the family room there's another bookcase with nutrition books, cooking (Kill it & Grill it), some medical manuals, oops, there's another forensic book there sandwiched between two more Konraths and an Evanovich. Let's not even go into my bedroom where I routinely knock over the pile of books on my nightstand while I'm looking for things. (this is why I can't own a kindle-I'd probably kill it.)
I've really got to thin out the herd. Any suggestions? How do you decide what to toss and what to keep? I mean, really! How can I get rid of something I might someday want to read? And how do I know the next person will love them as much as I do?
Help!

Harlequin goes to self publishing? Yikes!

The publishing community is reeling over Harlequin's announcement that they are hooking up with a self publisher and putting the Harlequin name on it.
Now correct me if I'm wrong but isn't this like a cop out? Or are they in financial trouble and looking for a quick way out?
It kind of scares me. I've read a few self published books and granted, a few are fairly good, but most lack the editing necessary to make a good book. I've often wanted to break out the red pen and go at them myself. To the author so desperate to see their book in print that they opt for this way out I'd like to say; RETHINK!
Getting a book from the authors hands takes the skill and talent of many people in the publishing house. Just because there's a cover on the book doesn't mean you should be proud of it. Keep working, editiing, critiquing and sending it out to agents and reputible publishing houses, but don't give up and self publish.
I'm a little ashamed of Harlequin. What happens now to their base of authors who work so hard to perfect their work now that substandard work will now bear the Harlequin name?
Thoughts?

Keeping track of submissions...Oy!

I was sending out queries for my latest WIP. I got a little interest but one sweet editor gave me quite a critique (Thank You!) and I'm rethinking my opening now. So the brakes are on until I redo it. However when I started sending it out I put it all in a file somewhere on my computer so I could track who/when sent/when returned and not query the same one twice. (How embarrassing would that be?) But here's the problem...
I can't find it. It's hiding somewhere in my computer but I can't remember what I named it or where I put it. Hmmmm....
Now the Halston update:

Stitches are out. (She didn't like that at all-we had to pin her down to get them out.) But the biopsy on the tumor came back as a class 2 out of 3. This means there is a really good chance it could come back, somewhere. So they recommend something called Neoplazene (hope I spelled that right) which is a newer drug that stops cancer cells from dividing. So we're probably going to do it. I've looked it up and it seems to be fairly safe. The only side effect is vomiting and diarrhea which can be controlled by lowering the dose. Most of the case studies I've read in dogs show good results and at Halston's age(13) she'll probably be on it for the rest of her life.
It is what it is.

The Halston Report

This is Halston's boo boo. She was a little slow to get up and down the first day she was home. But she still smiled at us like we were the bestest people on earth and she was just happy to be with us. (And extremely happy she was not at the vet's anymore)
Then we had to keep a T-shirt on her so she wouldn't injure her stitches. That was an old shirt from the Exchange Student program I used to work for and since it was Halloween we told everyone she was an Exchange student. People who saw her had lots of fun guessing which country she was from. The most popular vote was Pluto.
Now she seems like her old self. Happy and with lots of energy.
Next Friday she goes back to the vet to have the stitches removed. She usually goes beserko when we enter the vet's office. I think I might have a real tug of war on my hands this time.
:)
Giving her lots of hugs and cuddles now.